it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
