That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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