Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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