it's too hot outside to masturbate.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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