the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
