My pussy is not your playground.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He? As in you personified your dick?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
