he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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