I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Randomize
