if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
