No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
