We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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