It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
