On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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