Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
