i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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