Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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