GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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