there was a trapeze. enough said
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
