remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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