I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
