this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
