so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
