haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
