No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
