Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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