She is in my trunk
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
