hell yes lets make some ravioli
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
