Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
