Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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