so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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