i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
