Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
