He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
