farters have to be the big spoon...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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