I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
