I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
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