the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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