paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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