well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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