Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Non-Jews are for practice
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
When did angry sex become our thing?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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