My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
