clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
