John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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