And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
