the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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