where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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