idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
