great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Randomize
