We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Is her dick bigger than yours?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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