There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
